I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
