You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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