What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
