Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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