But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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