you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
