try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
