she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
