organizing the empties. That sober.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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