So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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