I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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