Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
