Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
