I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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