i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
