You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
