? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
