If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
