I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
