I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
