nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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