So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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