I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
