Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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