Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
