we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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