A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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