you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
