Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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