No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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