are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
