we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
