It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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