I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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