Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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