Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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