how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
