Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize