Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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