He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She is in my trunk
I feel like abortions should bother me more
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
