She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
