forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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