you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
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I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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