Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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