is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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