she takes plan B like it's going out of style
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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