Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize