I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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