Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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