you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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