I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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