Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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