It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
