my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
