the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
