I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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