Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
