We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
