so explain again why im purple
no
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
