I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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