Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
