I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
