I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
