Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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