I'm jealous of your bromance
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How does one acquire holy water?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
