so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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