Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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