Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
