she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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